The video was called "How to Lame".I see you were trying to tell a funny story there but it took way too much time to be entertaining. I'd cut it quicker and put less text in there. All of the jokes could have been put together in about 3 minutes so the audience wouldn't lose the interest after a while. Also some of the jokes would have worked better if they were exaggerated even more.
Oh and the audio transitions were too hard, there should be some crossover fading or a break down effect on some cuts, even if it's just a little bit.
But that's just my opinion (which you didn't actually ask for).
The video was called "How to Lame".I see you were trying to tell a funny story there but it took way too much time to be entertaining. I'd cut it quicker and put less text in there. All of the jokes could have been put together in about 3 minutes so the audience wouldn't lose the interest after a while. Also some of the jokes would have worked better if they were exaggerated even more.
Oh and the audio transitions were too hard, there should be some crossover fading or a break down effect on some cuts, even if it's just a little bit.
But that's just my opinion (which you didn't actually ask for).
That can take on many forms. I found it hilarious as I was waiting for the epic description of a master laming and found out I had been lamed :P