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Aoe2 copy pastas

  • Thread starter GermanyCR7outof10
  • Start date Dec 12, 2021
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CR7outof10

GermanyCR7outof10

Active Member
Dec 12, 2021
26
101
28
  • Dec 12, 2021
  • #1
Most streams ban them but thanks to Memb for letting me post these shitty copy pastas in his stream. I wanted to write for all players in KOTD4 but didn't know them well enough. I hope people familiar with these players can add their own to this thread. This could be like an Aoe2 copy pasta thread.

Except one or two, the rest are not so funny but i will still add them below in the hope a future more evolved memer can make them funnier. Many of these need to be made more concise. So feel free to do so.

* I really like all Aoe2 pros and casters, so i hope no one bans me on twitch :smile:
* I edited some edgy parts out before posting them to avoid drama
* Over-usage will get copy pastas banned altogether :smile:

****************************************************************************************************

LIEREYY

Vasco “Liereyy” Cardenas is a Peruvian professional Dota 2 player who also plays AoE 2 as a hobby for the South American team Angels of Medellin (AM). He graduated from University of Lima with a degree in micro - economics with a grade of 9/10. He doesn’t like it when people confuse his country’s flag for Latvia or Austria.




Sundar “Liereyy” Raman is an Indian Aoe2 player from Chennai, India who plays for All-in Madras (AM). He works as a junior software engineer on weekdays and streams once a month on twitch. His parents want him to stop playing video games and remove “Age of Empires player” from his matrimony.com profile. He hopes his future wife by arranged marriage will let him play Aoe2.




HERA

Jorge “Hera” Alvarez is a professional Aoe2 player from Cordoba, Argentina who plays for the South American team Angels of Medellin (AM). Many mistake him as Canadian due to his non-controversial personality and excessive politeness. He credits his mods aoebae94 and ProjectFlanders for making sure he never gets involved in any drama.




DAUT

Gerosthenes “DauT” Oikodomos is a professional AoE player from Athens, Greece. He was enrolled in the Master of Fortifications and Stone masonry course at the prestigious University of Alexandria but had to drop out after completing 99% of the course. He has two gold medals in chariot racing and horse archery in 708 B.C., Olympic games.




VIPER

Kumar “Viper” Sabapathy is professional Indian Aoe4 player who now lives in Leipzig, Germany. He mistakenly signed up for KOTD4 thinking it was an Aoe4 event. He has won a model immigrant award from Leipzig city government for donating 50% of his income for the city’s restaurant industry. 



Bui “Viper” Than Nhan is a professional Vietnamese Aoe4 player. He is a cousin of the more famous Aoe2 player "Toplo". He recently became a billionaire when his tech startup that lets gamers order takeout food ingame without pausing was acquired by Facebook. He owns a private island in Hawaii next to his new best friend Mark Zuckerberg.



Lars “Viper” Nielsson is a professional Aoe4 player from Sweden. Considered a GOAT in Aoe4 he has recently started playing Aoe2 to raise awareness about endangered RTS games. He stays fit by using the stairs in his apartment instead of the elevator to receive takeout food. 



MbL

Mohammed bin Laghmani (MbL) is a Jordanian professional Aoe2 player who plays for Al-Mujazzal esports (AM). He runs Jordan’s first rescue sanctuary for pigs and farm animals. He is vegan. 



Minbo Li (MbL) is a professional Aoe2 player from Shenzhen, China. He works fulltime for Tencent in its self-driving cars division. He credits ancient Chinese meditation for his calm, cool and confident personality. He hopes to increase his social credit by winning KOTD4. 




JORDAN

Ashish “Jordan” Singh is an Indian Age of Empires 2 player from Gujarat who plays for the team Gujarat Lions (GL). He works part-time as a fitness model. He believes the earth is flat after watching a conspiracy video on YouTube.
 
Last edited: Dec 12, 2021
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God

KazakhstanGod

Known Member
Jan 25, 2021
108
236
58
  • Dec 12, 2021
  • #2
Vinchester copypasta missing, fix pls
 
A

Franceamazing_knight

Halberdier
Nov 20, 2017
721
2,832
98
  • Dec 12, 2021
  • #3
Wth are these stereotype borderline racist copypastas? Why do you need a reference to someone's full name and their country to create a meaningful pasta!?

The best copypastas are generally meaningless and sarcastic like these:

"The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I recently lost my job and am currently unemployed. Twitch chat has been my safe haven and comfort during this time. However, I come to this stream today and what do I see? A ridiculous amount of copypasting tomfoolery. Please, have respect for the intellectuals here and try to return to the days of glorious discussion in twitch chat."

"Look what i got you - another copypasta about how i hate ******ed twitch kids who copypaste shitty pointless posts and spam facememes, but I obviously aim for you all idiots to copypaste this as well so I feel myself relevant for once in my ****ing life."

Guys stop posting
1.0
face. Not many know, but that
1.0
guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image
1.0


^ These are actually funny.
 
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A

BrazilAyase_Chihaya

Known Member
Mar 29, 2013
566
242
48
34
Belo Horizonte
  • Dec 12, 2021
  • #4
Personally I think these are quite funny 11
 
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Influenza

United StatesInfluenza

Champion
Jul 7, 2011
3,167
6,295
133
  • Dec 12, 2021
  • #5
they might be funny if they werent just brainless copies of super old memes from the twitch chats of other games
 
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M

Guatemalamasteradwin

Member
Nov 30, 2021
10
9
8
  • Dec 14, 2021
  • #6
Vasco “Liereyy” Cardenas study kid.
 
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H

AustraliaHelichaos

Halberdier
Oct 23, 2020
249
540
98
  • Dec 15, 2021
  • #7
Was hoping for the Hera "zoo" or the MBL "hangs with the coolest dudes" or Viper "I saw Viper at the store" ones.
 
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gwfe

Germanygwfe

Well Known Pikeman
Dec 8, 2013
146
441
78
27
  • Dec 15, 2021
  • #8
In an earlier post on AoEZone, I made this version of the navy seals copy pasta:

What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little noob? I'll have you know I graduated with all gold from the Art of War, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the enemy trade, even though thanks to DE I have 0 confirmed kills. I am trained in elephant warfare and I'm the top micro nerd in this game. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with ground attacks the likes of which have never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me in chat? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies in my castle and your king is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, cockroach. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your base. 105, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just in feudal age. Not only am I extensively trained in flushing, but I have access to the entire arsenal of fu imp armies and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of continental, you little ****. If only you could have known what holy redemption your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn *****. I will **** trash all over you and you will drown in it. One hundred ****ing five, kiddo.
 
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N

United StatesNaverb

Member
Feb 28, 2019
1
3
8
  • Dec 15, 2021
  • #9
I have a confession to make: I have a serious attraction to Teutonic Knights. The way their smooth capes flow over the perfectly chiseled bodies makes me an instant horndog. I can't imagine going a day without giving into my carnal urges watching them stroll onto the battlefield. I have spent the last few months writing fanfiction and poetry to express the deep, sexual energy these boys in blue express with every step.
 
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x0r6zt

Australiax0r6zt

Known Member
Feb 5, 2020
57
118
48
  • Dec 16, 2021
  • #10
"Streamer's name" is a fantastic player, he only needs to work on his scoutings, build orders, strategy choices, eco management, army compositions, control groupings, unit splits, xbow dances, mangonel attack grounds, monk micros, knights surroundings, galley fights, laming, clicking precision, building placements, not getting housed, map bans and civ choices.
 
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G

ItalyGooner26

Active Member
Oct 1, 2018
40
164
38
  • Dec 16, 2021
  • #11
Mathew “Memb” Young is a professional historian and occasional caster/player of AoE2 from Oxford, United Kingdom. He discovered the fountain of youth in the deserts of the Sahara after which he never aged beyond 25 years. He has co-authored two books titled ‘The power of fletching throughout the Feudal Ages’ and ‘Historical overview of the Aztecs’ with his best friend Hans Hammerfield.
 
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N

AustriaNesteaZen

Member
Apr 21, 2013
63
71
23
  • Dec 16, 2021
  • #12
1639682387996.png
 
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Davion

VietnamDavion

Active Member
Jan 20, 2019
27
35
28
  • Dec 16, 2022
  • #13
TheViper very skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up..
 
SaladEsc

DenmarkSaladEsc

Champion
Sep 30, 2013
2,123
1,164
128
Copenhagen
www.twitch.tv
  • Dec 16, 2022
  • #14
I am a regular villager, and this is my story. I work in construction at DauT Inc, and ever since Evon Tusk took over the company, we are being forced to work 10+ hrs a day to meet the completly unrealistic timeline for completing the castle. This is on top of benifits being cut to the bone, and the terrible working conditions (building under arrow fire, which insurance doesn't cover of course). I don't know if I can handle it anymore, I live with 4 roommates in a tiny house to begin with, and I don't think I will be able to afford to buy my children presents this christmas. I don't know what to do.
 
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Tocaraca

United StatesTocaraca

Longswordman
Jan 10, 2021
641
1,266
108
21
  • Dec 17, 2022
  • #15
Holy ****. My mom came into my room to bring me a map that wasn't Arabia and I literally screamed at her and hit the map out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the palisade gate on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the map pool tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the ****ing **** can't I just play Arabia every time? This can't be happening. I'm having a ****ing breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want to play Arabia and fix this broken map pool. I cannot ****ing deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought I could just ban every other map???? This is so ****ed.
 
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S

Germanysyntax

Member
Feb 5, 2021
1
0
6
  • Dec 30, 2022
  • #16
If your chat doesn't stop bitching about me, I am getting the **** out of here. Shut up, you stupid ass chat! I am not here to take your ****, man. I am here to ****ing play for Norway and, if you keep talking smack about me, I'll clap you back to ****ing Voobly. I'll go tower rush your ass. I'll play each of you 1v1, 1v2, 1v3. I'm gonna get the ****, I'm gonna kill you all. So if you keep talking **** about me, you're ****ing dead. All of you. Piece of shits.

Source: https://clips.twitch.tv/UnusualScaryJackalKreygasm
 
Hyperion

United StatesHyperion

Active Member
Sep 9, 2022
12
30
28
  • Dec 31, 2022
  • #17
Anyone have the arena copypasta?
 
Shakuni

United StatesShakuni

Member
Jul 13, 2014
3
4
18
  • Dec 31, 2022
  • #18
Let's go TaTiToH, the demolition man. DoritosChip What a guy. He’s freakin' built too. Thick and man made. You can tell he’s sculpted because you can see it thru the kit. DoritosChip Great arms. Great abs. A stocky chest. HUGE wrinkly brain. What. A. Specimen. DoritosChip

---

Olev "TheViper" Klavan is a professional AoE2 esports athlete from Estonia. He completed his Masters degree in Pieces from the Greater Lihula university with a final grade of 7/10. A part-time wedding caterer, he is known for his extremist views on watermelons.

---

You know, under different circumstances, I believe TheViper and Liereyy could have been owners of rival graveyards, each resorting to increasingly desperate, not to mention questionable, nay, even illegal, means to secure, how shall we say... permanent residents?

---

Sean Woolridge, founder of the Order of the Sheep, was born to play video games in an era when personal computers did not exist. Struck by inspiration while gliding down a water slide in the Marine-o Water Park in New Zealand, Woolridge invented the first mousepad in 1958. His product "Wristy-Glide-y-Slide-y" was immediately commissioned for use by NASA engineers and Woolridge became a part of the historical moon landing in 1969.

---

I have noticed that, although AoE2 usually has 35k users, I am not seeing 35k viewers. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'follow'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to follow. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation".

---

Such a shame Hearttt was arrested at the airport for smuggling preworkout. He would 5-0 both these clowns, be taller than Daut, balder than Dave, and almost as South American as Hera.
(this last one was created by AxleHogwartsomething)
 
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Davion

VietnamDavion

Active Member
Jan 20, 2019
27
35
28
  • Feb 2, 2023
  • #19
with players casting I didn't think I needed more than 4 casters (including myself). I trust the other 3 to do a phenomenal job
 
Davion

VietnamDavion

Active Member
Jan 20, 2019
27
35
28
  • Mar 6, 2023
  • #20
Arabia is like a hooker. you get exactly what you pay for. Mega random is full of surprises and hidden beauty you would have never discovered without it.
 
arizonatears

United Statesarizonatears

Known Member
Jun 5, 2019
44
155
48
  • Mar 6, 2023
  • #21
"I am always surprised. Because I though of Age of Empires II as a highly specialized game, but Hallis AOC still makes relatively big mistakes. Of course, he fails on a much higher level than most, but that he still is able to get 2k3. Wow BTW. Why is game speed 1.7?"

From a random chatter in Hallis' chat
 
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