It might not make you feel better, but you are extremely important to the people of this community and if anything happened it would be devestating... Take care and get help man, don't let the bad thoughts get you. <3
Don't want to stress you out with more unread messages, so I will leave this here:
Please don't give up, you've come so far and from now on, every day is a chance to get better. It's a long journey. There will be more bad days, but there will be slightly better ones, too, and then there will be happy ones again. People love you and care about you, and those are not empty words, that's a fact in this big community. I genuinely hope you can get some help back home. Again, it's a long journey and yeah, it ****ing sucks, but you've got this! You are a lot stronger than you think.
We will keep you in our thoughts. <3
Surprised in a few ways, but mostly surprised at how you closed yourself off. Similar to what someone else said and hope it isn’t taken the wrong way, but hope you have someone you can talk to that you trust. Talking to the right person helps with many things. Not talking is always worse. Been through some rough stuff myself for around 20 years, but am seriously grateful there’s two people I can talk to about literally anything.
Hey man, I've been in a rough spot myself. I know how it is, nothing we say here will make you feel better, but have in mind that we're here and we're saying it. Mental health takes precedence over everything else.
Robo life is at times like that hole in the wall, the villager that got killed by a boar, the quick wall fail, or del tc instead of palisade.. in the larger scheme of things these setbacks do tend to balance out.. takes gumption to acknowledge there is a problem.. takes time to overcome it, stay strong brother!
Robo, do not feel as you owe the game anything as you don’t. You owe it to yourself. Take any time off you need, even if that means forever. As much as you’d be missed with you’re tireless work, you must put your health first and get yourself on the road to recovery.
I know that one day you will look back on your work with aoe with immense pride and I sincerely hope you are able to get back on your feet and enjoy a wonderful life.
All the best.
I don't believe I've talked to you in at least 2-3 years since I decided to unplug from video games. I honestly hope you can just step away from everything and never read this.
I have seen lots of people going down this same path in the AoE community, and that includes myself. I do not believe that working so hard on AoE is sustainable for most people. Remember when great people like Taff, SMB360, etc. all got burned out and quit. Many of the best staff have reached various levels of burn out at some point.
I was lucky that the higher up Voobly staff members treated me so poorly. It caused me to realize that AoE is just a video game and it caused me to recognize the burn out pattern sooner than I could have. I quit completely cold turkey for over a year and it was the best thing for me. I now watch streams again but I have not reinstalled the game and I don't know if I ever will.
I really appreciate you and all of the great staff members here at AoeZone. PkZ has done an excellent job here. I don't know how to end this but you are a great person and I hope you can take a step back and feel better.
Stress has a physical component that lodges itself in specific places in our bodies, please make sure that you move around as much as possible, and constantly have your attention in your body and it's needs. Get well!