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  • Thread starter United StatesTocaraca
  • Start date Nov 4, 2022
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Indiaaromatic

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Jul 1, 2022
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  • Nov 10, 2022
  • #26
Yes
 
Tocaraca

United StatesTocaraca

Longswordman
Jan 10, 2021
654
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  • Nov 11, 2022
  • #27
This is my first time actually checking this topic since I posted it. I am indeed taking a break and it seems like most agree that this is the right call
If I ever post something like this again, just mock me, since that would mean I hadn't learned my lesson and people shouldn't waste their time trying to help me
 
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A_Red_Raven

UruguayA_Red_Raven

Active Member
Mar 5, 2021
33
37
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  • Nov 11, 2022
  • #28
Dude, is never a waste of time to try to help someone. Do take a break, enjoy yourself and when this happens to you just remember you are playing a game, games are supposed to be fun, tilting is sometimes part of the fun, but worry when you stop having fun, cause that means is not a game anymore. And ask for help whenever you need man, is not bad to ask for others for advice when you feel you need it.
 
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UnknownRayne

Champion
Jul 6, 2010
1,292
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  • Nov 11, 2022
  • #29
Tocaraca said:
If I ever post something like this again, just mock me, since that would mean I hadn't learned my lesson and people shouldn't waste their time trying to help me
Click to expand...
There’s no need to talk yourself down. It shows that you care a lot about being better (which I like about you), but this is a textbook definition of being too hard on yourself. You just need to find a balance between caring about being better and stopping before an emotional implosion and explosion occurs (it looked like both happened imo).

Also, it usually takes more than one time before many lessons are learned. Ease up a bit, but not too much unless you don’t mind letting yourself go.
 
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Tocaraca

United StatesTocaraca

Longswordman
Jan 10, 2021
654
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  • Nov 11, 2022
  • #30
Rayne said:
There’s no need to talk yourself down. It shows that you care a lot about being better (which I like about you), but this is a textbook definition of being too hard on yourself. You just need to find a balance between caring about being better and stopping before an emotional implosion and explosion occurs (it looked like both happened imo).

Also, it usually takes more than one time before many lessons are learned. Ease up a bit, but not too much unless you don’t mind letting yourself go.
Click to expand...
I feel like if this constitutes as me being too hard on myself, then most other people in this thread are also being too hard on me (considering the "yes" and "attention seeker?" messages), which I don't think is the case, nor is it helpful or dignified to have a victim mentality. "I should never come back" is probably a little too harsh, though. But I shouldn't be coddled, these types of outbursts shouldn't be excused because "oh he just needs help". I just make bad decisions. But I do appreciate your care, and same goes to @-R- and @Influenza and @_PaternaAoE_
 
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R

UnknownRayne

Champion
Jul 6, 2010
1,292
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  • Nov 11, 2022
  • #31
Tocaraca said:
I feel like if this constitutes as me being too hard on myself, then most other people in this thread are also being too hard on me (considering the "yes" and "attention seeker?" messages), which I don't think is the case, nor is it helpful or dignified to have a victim mentality. "I should never come back" is probably a little too harsh, though. But I shouldn't be coddled, these types of outbursts shouldn't be excused because "oh he just needs help". I just make bad decisions. But I do appreciate your care, and same goes to @-R- and @Influenza and @_PaternaAoE_
Click to expand...
True, some good points. Victim mentalities aren’t good.

I’ve actually been doing my best to refrain from going too deep into things (since that in itself could be insulting/not asked for), but when you’re saying things like “Mock me if I do it next time” and “I’m a waste of time then”, that sounds like you’re beating yourself up and it has been a week since the incident. You also don’t have a good view of yourself here when you say you would be a waste of time then. That’s also with the feel of the initial post, which I don’t think you really know how it comes off. So there’s more than one thing that can be checked off for that sort of thing — being too hard on yourself. Not about excusing it (never good either), just a truth. As for the other posts well, it’s the internet after all.
 
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Tocaraca

United StatesTocaraca

Longswordman
Jan 10, 2021
654
1,306
108
21
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #32
Rayne said:
That’s also with the feel of the initial post, which I don’t think you really know how it comes off
Click to expand...
I haven't re-read my initial post. I don't really remember what it says
 
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vince

United Statesvince

Well Known Pikeman
Mar 10, 2021
169
296
78
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #33
tbh I thought you were trolling

a break and/or a vacation will probably be all you need. nothing too rash.
 
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_PaternaAoE_

Czech Republic_PaternaAoE_

Active Member
Mar 1, 2021
34
69
33
23
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #34
Tocaraca said:
I feel like if this constitutes as me being too hard on myself, then most other people in this thread are also being too hard on me (considering the "yes" and "attention seeker?" messages), which I don't think is the case, nor is it helpful or dignified to have a victim mentality. "I should never come back" is probably a little too harsh, though. But I shouldn't be coddled, these types of outbursts shouldn't be excused because "oh he just needs help". I just make bad decisions. But I do appreciate your care, and same goes to @-R- and @Influenza and @_PaternaAoE_
Click to expand...
Most of the replies seem like troll posts to me, or at least you should take it that way. Some people have a different sense of humor or they are just outright negative in their world view.

But yeah, I agree with whole victim mentality thing - you should not take that path ever. Some things are just not worth thinking about. I usually am advocating for a " Don't focus on things that might affect you negatively or are not worth thinking about" approach in life. Most of these messages are not worth thinking about since it will make you doubt yourself and ultimately set you on the path of victimizing yourself. They are not worth the thought.
 
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T

FinlandTopperHarley

Halberdier
Sep 11, 2018
316
1,308
98
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #35
Tocaraca said:
If I ever post something like this again, just mock me, since that would mean I hadn't learned my lesson
Click to expand...

So you are basically asking for troll responses but then also complain about these?

You really need to get your head around why you even posted this thread because you got the expected responses for it
 
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R

UnknownRayne

Champion
Jul 6, 2010
1,292
2,071
128
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #36
Tocaraca said:
I haven't re-read my initial post. I don't really remember what it says
Click to expand...
It’s never a bad thing to do stuff like this and self-reflect. This is one of the things that people go through when seeking therapy, it is just very deeply. (Never been to therapy myself, just what I’ve heard from someone I know that went to around 5 therapists a long time ago)

But as for what it says, it’s not about specific wording per se. It’s more about your perfectionist mindset that I was hinting towards, which I can’t see any other way. Perfectionists are notorious for a few things, like for example: being overly-critical and/or having a negative view of themself, and beating up themselves when they fail to accomplish things. It can be seen in the initial post, and the one from which you returned to this topic. Just making a brief mention of it.
 
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Tocaraca

United StatesTocaraca

Longswordman
Jan 10, 2021
654
1,306
108
21
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #37
TopperHarley said:
So you are basically asking for troll responses but then also complain about these?
Click to expand...
No. Re-read:
"if this constitutes as me being too hard on myself, then most other people in this thread are also being too hard on me (considering the "yes" and "attention seeker?" messages), which I don't think is the case"
I am not complaining about troll responses. Rayne and co. are being nicer than I would ever expect or deserve regarding this terrible post of mine.
Your entire comment is a strawman, actually.
 
warownia

Polandwarownia

Known Member
Apr 20, 2020
124
224
58
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #38
I know that maybe my comment wont suit aoezone but if u have problems controling you anger than maybe psychoteraphy or something like that would help you with it.
 
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kalpit00

United Stateskalpit00

Well Known Pikeman
Dec 8, 2018
317
470
78
22
  • Nov 12, 2022
  • #39
warownia said:
I know that maybe my comment wont suit aoezone but if u have problems controling you anger than maybe psychoteraphy or something like that would help you with it.
Click to expand...
working out, boxing, exercising, running = ways to deal with anger.
 
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R

UnknownRayne

Champion
Jul 6, 2010
1,292
2,071
128
  • Nov 13, 2022
  • #40
kalpit00 said:
working out, boxing, exercising, running = ways to deal with anger.
Click to expand...
It feels as though I’ve said enough in this topic, but there’s one thing I would like to say about this just as a word of warning.

I hope people are careful when thinking this is a way to deal with anger. I believe it is something of a common misconception to think exercising (or any form of activity like it) is a healthy way to deal with anger. It basically teaches someone it’s ok to get angry and exercise with it. Infact, it sounds potentially dangerous because it is releasing it that way. There was something I heard of years ago from a cardiologist that just even recalling an incident that makes someone really angry is already sending the heart to “danger levels”. So I can only imagine that it’s not ideal when say, doing boxing and taking out everything on a punching bag.
 
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Tocaraca

United StatesTocaraca

Longswordman
Jan 10, 2021
654
1,306
108
21
  • Nov 14, 2022
  • #41
Rayne said:
It feels as though I’ve said enough in this topic, but there’s one thing I would like to say about this just as a word of warning.

I hope people are careful when thinking this is a way to deal with anger. I believe it is something of a common misconception to think exercising (or any form of activity like it) is a healthy way to deal with anger. It basically teaches someone it’s ok to get angry and exercise with it. Infact, it sounds potentially dangerous because it is releasing it that way. There was something I heard of years ago from a cardiologist that just even recalling an incident that makes someone really angry is already sending the heart to “danger levels”. So I can only imagine that it’s not ideal when say, doing boxing and taking out everything on a punching bag.
Click to expand...
Exercise is great in general, it improves mood and mental health (as well as physical health of course), making one less likely to be angry during the day. That's far more effective than trying to use exercise as a way to let off steam, since doing that doesn't fix the underlying issue, but rather acts as a band-aid.
 
R

UnknownRayne

Champion
Jul 6, 2010
1,292
2,071
128
  • Nov 14, 2022
  • #42
Tocaraca said:
Exercise is great in general, it improves mood and mental health (as well as physical health of course), making one less likely to be angry during the day. That's far more effective than trying to use exercise as a way to let off steam, since doing that doesn't fix the underlying issue, but rather acts as a band-aid.
Click to expand...
I’ve never actually heard of exercise lowering the chances of becoming angry.

Dunno about that, but I have a friend that was actually in a toxic relationship long ago. He exercised regularly and blew off steam regularly while exercising when the issues came about (and telling me how great it felt), but still became angry. Maybe his relationship was just that bad though, or depends on the type of exercise if it’s true.

I also have another friend that’s a yoga fanatic that stands by yoga being the answer to every issue like that (depression, stress, anger). Personally, I prefer tea and a form of meditation to deal with many issues in life.
 
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Hunyadi_

CanadaHunyadi_

Longswordman
Jun 26, 2018
897
2,405
108
  • Nov 14, 2022
  • #43
I thought I was being nice too but I'm fine being ignored.
 
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R

Bosnia and Herzegovina_Raiden_

Known Member
Feb 9, 2021
57
354
58
  • Nov 15, 2022
  • #44
Tocaraca said:
Exercise is great in general, it improves mood and mental health (as well as physical health of course), making one less likely to be angry during the day. That's far more effective than trying to use exercise as a way to let off steam, since doing that doesn't fix the underlying issue, but rather acts as a band-aid.
Click to expand...
Being healthy is great to prevent outbursts. However, I think you're being too hard on yourself. I see my younger self in you. I was obsessed to get better. I took losses very hard and I'm sure Alex remembers the good ole times. Don't let people make you out to be some maniac, you have greater passion. Do not give up and use the time off from 1v1s to polish up your game. Tune up your keys and come back stronger. If you allow yourself to give up in this chapter of your life, then the rest will consume you.
 
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paradox303

Scotlandparadox303

Longswordman
Sep 2, 2021
267
864
108
29
  • Nov 15, 2022
  • #45
Rayne said:
I’ve never actually heard of exercise lowering the chances of becoming angry.

Dunno about that, but I have a friend that was actually in a toxic relationship long ago. He exercised regularly and blew off steam regularly while exercising when the issues came about (and telling me how great it felt), but still became angry. Maybe his relationship was just that bad though, or depends on the type of exercise if it’s true.

I also have another friend that’s a yoga fanatic that stands by yoga being the answer to every issue like that (depression, stress, anger). Personally, I prefer tea and a form of meditation to deal with many issues in life.
Click to expand...
Looks like there is some research out there

Paper 1
Paper 2
Paper 3
Paper 4
 
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R

UnknownRayne

Champion
Jul 6, 2010
1,292
2,071
128
  • Nov 15, 2022
  • #46
paradox303 said:
Looks like there is some research out there

Paper 1
Paper 2
Paper 3
Paper 4
Click to expand...
First link doesn’t work for me, but some interesting stuff. Brings back memories.

Regarding the 4th one though, I get some of the points, but it is hard to take it too seriously though when only children are tested. They have far less worries and don’t really deal with the world the same way adults do (far less trigger points). Seems like it does something though, guess it’s because coritsol is being burned when exercising. Just wonder how much it applies to adults (like it didn’t seem to work for my friend much I suppose).
 
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Dfx2

FranceDfx2

Member
Oct 6, 2019
25
16
18
  • Nov 18, 2022
  • #47
You're right my little guy
 
G

UnknownGosBanyat

New Member
Feb 13, 2018
23
22
3
  • Nov 20, 2022
  • #48
Influenza said:
why do u think that saying an unpopular opinion on aoezone is incompatible with identifying when someone needs help
Click to expand...
i will always carry you in my heart the peaceful is willing to
 
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warownia

Polandwarownia

Known Member
Apr 20, 2020
124
224
58
  • Nov 20, 2022
  • #49
Influenza said:
why do u think that saying an unpopular opinion on aoezone is incompatible with identifying when someone needs help
Click to expand...
I think the advantage of forums like aoezone over the reddit is that unpopular opinion is not downvoted thus hidden for most of the readers.
 
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